Annotated Temperatures

 An annotated thermometer

 60    - Californians put on sweaters
         (if they can find one in their wardrobe)

 50    - Miami residents turn on the heat

 40    - You can see your breath
         Californians shiver uncontrollably
         Minnesotans go swimming

 35    - Italian cars don't start

 32    - Water freezes

 30    - You plan your vacation to Australia
         Minnesotans put on T-shirts
         Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
         British cars don't start

 25    - Boston water freezes
         Californians weep pitiably
         Minnesotans eat ice cream
         Canadians go swimming

 20    - You can hear your breath
         Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
         New York City water freezes
         Miami residents plan vacation further South

 15    - French cars don't start
         You plan a vacation in Mexico
         Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

 10    - Too cold to ski
         You need jumper cables to get the car going

  5    - You plan your vacation in Houston
         American cars don't start

  0    - Alaskans put on T-shirts
         Too cold to skate

 -10   - German cars don't start
         Eyes freeze shut when you blink

 -15   - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
         Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
         Miami residents cease to exist

 -20   - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
         Politicians actually do something about the homeless
         Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
         Japanese cars don't start

 -25   - Too cold to think
         You need jumper cables to get the driver going

 -30   - You plan a two week hot bath
         The Mighty Monongahela freezes
         Swedish cars don't start

 -40   - Californians disappear
         Minnesotans button top button
         Canadians put on sweaters
         Your car helps you plan your trip South

 -50   - Congressional hot air freeze
         Alaskans close the bathroom window

 -80   - Hell freezes over
         Polar bears move south